Earl moved in with his late wife who had dementia-related hypersexuality. After she passed, he stayed. “I haven’t had an impure thought since Carter was president,” Earl said, rocking on his porch. “But I like the quiet. And the HOA is very efficient. They fixed my gutter in 20 minutes.” Chapter 4: The Verification Test To become “neighborhood verified,” I had to undergo The Gauntlet . This is not a sexual thing. It’s a psychological bloodsport.

They did not hug. They went home separately. And they looked happier than any couple I’ve ever seen at a swinger’s resort. The town of nymphomaniacs—verified, certified, mapped, and zoned—taught me a lesson I did not want to learn.

And for the first time in my life, that feels like enough. J.H. Morrison is a freelance journalist and the author of “Verified: Stories from the Boundaries of Desire.” Names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of the “Neighborhood Verified” community.

Below the square footage and the school district rating—both surprisingly average—there was a little blue checkmark next to a community label that read: “District 9: The Groves (Self-Identified.)”